The Little Things that Connect Us
One of the things I speak on is the importance of connection in recovery and, frankly, in life. I have found that although one would think it is the big things in life that connect us, and sometimes it is (graduations, birthday parties, weddings, etc.), it is usually the little things that truly make us feel connected. As humans, we have an intuitive need for connection, to feel seen and heard by the people around us. I was talking to a friend, and she shared how a random connection made her feel. How a thoughtful gesture from a relative stranger, that simple act of kindness, made her feel safer in that moment. Although she had never met this person, that little thing made a connection and made her feel more at ease.
But perhaps the most surprising thing I have learned about connection is how the little things make me feel more connected with myself. Sunsets, early mornings in nature, quick conversations in the car with my children, coffee talks with friends, times when I am truly present and mindful. That is when I feel most connected to myself. This deep connection allows me to increase my connection with others, with more of a desire to show up for them in a way that makes them feel seen and heard.
I have realized how much more the little things mean to me in my recovery, so much so that I use this realization as a way to assess when a person is in what I call grace, the final stage of recovery. They notice the little things. They start telling me how different they feel about the simplest and smallest of moments. They realize and recognize how big the little things are in their lives. They show up with more empathy and become better listeners to the people they care about. Most of all, they express gratitude for being witness to those little things and realize the depths of how, in active addiction, those moments were missed.
It is through these small acts, these little things of life, that we find more connection, which is what builds the foundation for our relationships. And here, in the relationships of our lives, is where we find healing.
What little things do you notice in your daily life? How do you connect with yourself and the people you care about? Is there space in your life to notice the little things?
